For This is Life

"Now listen, it takes an education to build a reputation.. Not gonna stop this feeling, living on a feeling.."
~Chris Rene

The past couple of weeks, I have truly learned the importance of love, support, and life. I have seen through the life of an older man the true definition of love. It's not the petty, addicting lyrics of Taylor Swift of her 14th ex-boyfriend. It's not through the glamorous movie portrayal from Hollywood. It's not even the so called Happily Ever After as told by fairy tales and Disney. The story of love is more like happily forever in one moment. It doesn't happen ever after. For the journey to love is only 25% of the story. 75% of the story is what really occurs after happily ever after. I see love not just through the eyes of a person but in the actions of a person. This is more than chocolate hearts, diamond rings, and kisses. It's something more that is greater than yourself. It's understanding. It's acceptance. It's a promise to one another that when the skies seems gray, they are the sun and the stars. It's not forcing someone to change but allowing them to be who they are mentally, socially, physically, and culturally. Whether it's a love between two or a love between friends or even enemies. Love overcomes. It's a gift from God that spreads like a virus infecting everybody. And may it spread rampant like bees. May love buzz through the cold-hearted, the lost, the lonely. May they find support. May they be surrounded with warmth, smiles, happiness, and passionate compassion soon. May they be lost only to be found. May the infectious disease of love catch you and may you spread it to others until you have completed your purpose on this Earth. Keep your love ones close. For this is life, as I learned from a wise man to live to love and love to live. 

~In honor of Mr. Earl Bates

UNC Bucket List

Things that I have completed will be highlighted in Carolina Blue

1. Ride a full circle of the P2P route
2. Play in the fountain at Bynum Circle
3. Explore Wilson Library’s Rare Book Collection
4. Get frozen yogurt at Yogurt Pump
5. Have your picture taken with Rameses
6. Drink from the Old Well on the first day of classes
7. Eat a cheddar-chicken biscuit at Time Out after 2 a.m.
8. Celebrate Halloween on Franklin Street
9. Pretend to fire the ROTC cannon
10. Eat lunch at the counter of Sutton’s Drug Store
11. Go stargazing in Kenan Stadium
12. Pull an all-nighter in the UL
13. Get covered in paint at the Holi celebration on Polk Place
14. Listen to the Pit Preacher and argue back
15. Sunbathe on Polk Place
16. Eat breakfast at Ye Olde Waffle Shop
17. Hula hoop at Weaver Street Market
18. Tweet at a UNC varsity athlete
19. Play a round of golf at the Finley Golf Course
20. Play four-square in the Pit
21. Get ice cream at Maple View Farms in Carrboro
22. Visit a professor during office hours
23. Visit the Duke Botanical Gardens
24. See a star show at the Morehead Planetarium
25. Complete a DTH crossword
26. Have a snowball fight on McCorkle Place
27. Climb the Bell Tower on Senior Day
28. Persuade your teacher to hold class outside on a sunny day
29. Drink an extra-large coffee at the Daily Grind
30. Become a member of Local 506 and see a show
31. Find and eat at the taco truck in Carrboro
32. Sit outside Memorial Hall at night and listen to a show over the loudspeakers
33. Climb the rock wall in Rams Head
34. Hang a hammock and have a picnic in the Arboretum
35. Run the stairs at Kenan Stadium
36. Watch the sun set from the 8th floor of Davis Library
37. “Borrow” cutlery and dishes from Lenoir
38. Crash a prospective student tour
39. Run or walk a 5k on campus for charity
40. Get tickets as a senior to the UNC-Duke game
41. Dance in a library flash mob
42. Walk across the Morehead Planetarium sundial on your way to Franklin Street
43. Get a letter to the editor and a kvetch published in the DTH
44. Attend at least one game for every UNC sports team
45. See (or participate) in the library streaking during finals
46. Attend a Zumba class at the SRC or Rams Head
47. Visit the basketball museum at the Dean Dome
48. Have a drink and listen to some bluegrass at Fridays on the Front Porch at the Carolina Inn
49. See a movie hosted by CUAB at the Union
50. Play volleyball at a sand court
51. Grill some hot dogs at a residence hall grill
52. Sit on the Davie Poplar bench — with someone else
53. Play racquetball at Fetzer Gym
54. Eat a deep-fried candy bar at the State Fair
55. Swim some laps in the Bowman Gray pool
56. Stand on your feet for 24 hours with UNC Dance Marathon

Dance Marathon

57. Paint yourself blue for a football game
58. Trip on a brick in the Pit
59. Get a blue cup from He’s Not Here
60. Visit Gimghoul Castle at night
61. Fall asleep in a couch at Graham Memorial
62. Sing “Hark the Sound” and link arms with a stranger at a sporting event
63. Go to Duke’s campus wearing a UNC shirt
64. Watch a basketball game from the risers at the Dean Dome
65. Appear in an STV show
66. See a movie at the Varsity Theater
67. Pit-sit for a student organization
68. Go swimming in Jordan Lake
69. Take a weekend road trip to see fall foliage in Asheville
70. Head eastward and lie out on the beach in Wilmington
71. Eat traditional Southern food at Mama Dips
72. Buy flowers from the ladies on Franklin Street

Gimghoul Castle at Night

73. Check out a book from each of the eight floors of Davis Library
74. Have a hot dog at the season opener at Boshamer
75. Make a gingerbread house in the Great Hall during finals week
76. Climb on the roof of a building on campus
77. Visit the N.C. General Assembly building in Raleigh
78. Play basketball in Woollen Gym
79. Feed a squirrel on campus
80. Participate in a football tailgate
81. Introduce yourself to Holden Thorp
82. Work on an election campaign for student government
83. Memorize the words to James Taylor’s “Carolina In My Mind”
84. Go to a Clef Hangers concert
85. Sign your friend up for clubs at Fall Fest — without his or her knowledge
86. Make money by participating in a research study on campus
87. Get a parking ticket and appeal it
88. Eat cheese fries at Linda’s on Franklin Street
89. Attend an “I Heart Female Orgasm” lecture
90. Paint a cube in the Pit
91. Read an issue of each student publication
92. Go to a UNC Board of Trustees meeting at the Carolina Inn
93. Eat one of everything off the menu at Alpine Bagels
94. Go dancing at Players
95. Attend a Durham Bulls game and buy a baseball cap
96. Peruse the ties for sale at Julian’s on Franklin
97. Win an intramural championship T-shirt
98. Head to the drive-through window at Sunrise Biscuit Kitchen and order a biscuit
99. Take a walk across campus early in the morning before anyone else is awake
100. Rush Franklin after beating Dook — and run all the way there from the Dean Dome

¡El día dos en el semestre de la primavera !

¡Hola! Me despierté a las siete y media en la manaña. Me pongo mi ropa. Mi camisa es amarillo. Mi abuelita compré mi camisa en Diciembre.  Mi clase a las nueve y media es química generalmente. Mi clase termina a las diez y media hoy. Yo conozco la clase es difícil. Yo tengo el laboratorio de química todos los jueves. El laboratorio comienza a las uno y termina a las cinco en la tarde.

Usualmente, mi universidad es talentoso en deportes pero sus grupo de basketball es malo. Un grupo de basketball necesitan a trabajar y practicar muchas.

Yo hablé con mi familia en el teléfono esta noche delante de duerme en mi cama. Yo encanto mi familia mucho.

Yo estudié por mi clases hoy. Yo leí y escribí notas por psicología anormales. Entonces, yo escribí el papel en mi computadora por una programa de ciencia en el verano. Luego, yo estudié por las clase de Espanõl. Yo practicé conjugar verbos.

¡Bueno noches!

Cita del día: Nunca perder la esperanza.

Mi blog del Inglés al Español

¿Bueno idea? ¿Malo idea? Este semestre de primavera, estoy estudiando Español en mi clase de la universidad. Quiero mejorar mi la gramática, el vocabulario y la escritura. Mi blog está ahora en Español para este razón. 

El día primero de la clases fue hoy. Mi classes en lunes, miercoles, y viernes son la psicología, el Español, y estudios globales. Yo ejercicio en la piscina despues mi classes y comiendo mi almuerzo. Mi clase favorito ahora es psicología anormal. Mi classes comienzan a las ocho de la manaña y terminan a las once. Me levanto de mi cama muy temprano. Este semestre es ocupado porque yo tengo seis la clases.  Yo tengo una clase manaña. Es química. 

Mi citar de el día (¿la noche?): "La noche es la mejor represtación de la infinitud de la universo. Nos hace creer que nada tiene principio o fin." ~Carlos Fuentes

Gracias de el día: Gracias Shawn en la clase de psicología anormal. Tú eres simpática porque tú hablaste y recuerdaste mi nombre.

The Sound of Music.. In the Mind

So... The names in this article are completely fake.. I did this article for my English college class. Which I surprisingly found out I got an awesome grade on.. I've always had interest of what happens with music and the brain.

Human Mysteries

THE SOUND OF MUSIC.. IN THE MIND

Are people suffering from music hallucinations insane?

"Yet, I knew I wasn't insane. All I had known was that no matter what the music would always come back" 

~ Ella Lispi

It has probably happened to you before. The catchy song you recently heard on the radio is stuck in your head. It's probably annoyed you hearing it over and over again but it usually disappears from your mind within a few hours. Now imagine the distant tune in your head suddenly became very real. The rhythm of the drums. The strumming of a guitar. The singer's voice. It sounds as if you were attending a concert except your in a room by yourself and there are no external sounds coming from any object. Instead of the tune fading away, it plays in your mind on a daily basis to the point where it is not annoying but frightening. This is what Ella Lispi has experienced daily ever since she was 65 years old. 

Ella is suffering from a mental illness known as music hallucinations. "The music I hear is always there," she says. Music hallucinations are a type of auditory hallucination where a person perceives tunes, melodies and rhythms in the absence of external stimuli. Ella states that the music she commonly hears is music from her childhood. Most of the songs she hallucinates are church hymns and the Beatles. "While the music was annoying at first, it then became frightening. It simply would not leave. I could make it leave temporarily when I was focusing, attending or thinking about other things like reading a book. It was always there though. It's as if there was an elephant in this room. You can do things to pretend the elephant isn't in the room but overall it's still there trunk and all." 

Ella's auditory hallucinations are common in those aged 65 years and older. It is also common for folks around her age to experience sensory deprivation such as hearing loss. "I noticed I had trouble hearing when I was 62 years old when I was trying to talk my son Ben," Ella says, "Then, I was hearing music a couple years later." There is much debate over the brain activity of this involuntary music appearing in the head. While neurologists have determined various triggers for the hallucinations like hearing impairment, they have struggled figuring out what is precisely occurring in a microscopic level. So far researchers know in general that if someone is suffering from music hallucinations due to hearing impairment, they have found that certain neurons are misfiring in the auditory cortex located in the temporal lobe of the brain resulting for people like Ella to experience a never ending iPod stuck in their heads. Learning about Ella's mental illness, Ben, Ella's son, states, "Ella's illness is truly a mystery. I really hope researchers can find more explanations to the music she hears. I think it would help her understand why she is suffering so much. I'd just wish I knew about her condition earlier. She didn't tell me about the music until 5 years later."

The reason that neurologists, psychiatrists, and researchers are struggling to research more about this topic is because there is a lack of awareness about music hallucinations. Ella for example had no knowledge that her mental illness was an actual condition. "I didn't know a doctor could diagnose the music in my mind before I told him about it." There is a lack of awareness about this mental illness because today our society has formed a social stigma surrounding mental illnesses like music hallucinations. "I was scared to come out. I didn't want to see a doctor at first. I didn't want to tell Ben. I felt that what I was experiencing was the characteristics of a psychotic person. Yet, I knew I wasn't insane. All I had known was that no matter what the music would always come back," Ella admits.  Before Ben completely understood Ella's condition he truly thought his mother might have needed hospitalization. He says, "The first time I heard about her hallucinations I thought she was crazy. It explained why she was humming a lot. I thought she was going to be placed in a psychiatric ward for her condition." 

The stigma of mental illness

Why as a society do we automatically label someone with a mental illness like Ella as crazy or insane? Well, one reason is the way doctors have treated the mentally ill historically. From the 1800s to about 1960, the mentally ill received unethical treatments like straitjackets, ice-cold baths, and prefrontal lobotomy as a way to return the mind back to the normal state. These patients were sent to asylums and psychiatric wards isolated from the outside world and stripped of their rights. Their doctors were the ultimate judges to allow a mentally ill patient to return back to society. Also, another reason is the media. The media has told us through television, magazines, and newspaper headlines their opinion of the mentally ill. The media wants society to assume that people with mental illness are violent and crazy. They want society to believe that the mentally ill are a threat to society. As a result of the treatment of the mentally ill historically and the media's view on mental illness, it is commonly viewed even by physicians that hallucinations denote madness. Therefore, there is a social stigma surrounding mental illness and in this case, music hallucinations, that needs to disappear.

This stigma that has surrounded music hallucinations has consequently prevented people like Ella to open up about the music in their mind. Ella's physician Dr. Clayton Hersch states, "I think Ella took so long to tell anyone about her musical experiences because of this social stigma." Thanks to this social stigma, a person may feel scared or embarrassed of what close relatives may think or react about him or her because they hear music in the head.  Also, a person may think that he or she will be sent to the hospital for treatment for hallucinating music. This social stigma surrounding mental illness has not only affected people suffering from music hallucinations but neurologists and researchers continuing to research this mental illness. It is hard to conduct a study about musical hallucinosis when there are not many people seeking for treatment to stop the music because of the social stigma that surrounds mental illness.

Despite what has happened historically with the mentally ill and what the media has claimed, society needs to change its perception about mental illness. Since there is a lack of research on this topic, there is not enough awareness that music hallucinations are an actual mental illness because of the social stigma. As a beginning step, though, neurologists have tried to rename the mental illness from music hallucinations to the Musical Ear Syndrome. People who hallucinate music and doctors like this term better because it does not have a negative connotation like the word hallucination that seems to carry more of an ominous charge. As a result, more people with this condition have been opening but as mentioned it is only a beginning step.

The Musical Ear Syndrom Online Support Group

"It would have been helpful to meet a community of people suffering from the same condition as me," states Ella. If we want even more people to seek treatment for having the Musical Ear Syndrome, creating awareness organizations would be the best way for people to realize that there may be end to the hallucinations. The problem is that there is not one official music hallucination awareness organization in existence. This mental illness should have just as much recognition as other diseases like diabetes or heart disease because many people in the elderly population may be experiencing music hallucinations and may never realize that the music in their mind can be diagnosed. The closest awareness group that can be found is a Musical Ear Syndrome Online Support Form found at mdjunction.com. While this is a good way to show a community of people suffering from music hallucinations, an online forum is not as powerful as an official organization that can make public announcements in various methods like television commercials or social media to raise awareness about the Musical Ear Syndrome.

Since there are no official organizations for those suffering from music hallucinations, we as individuals can do our part by being wary of labeling someone as insane, mad, crazy, or psychotic. Instead of attaching labels, we should be more understanding and suggest a person who may be hallucinating music to visit a doctor. Despite what the media conveys, people suffering from music hallucinations are not crazy. They are not a threat to society. They understand that the music they hear is coming from inside their head. It is important know that people with music hallucinations have a non-psychiatric illness meaning it is not necessary to be treated in a hospital for this condition since they aren't a threat to themselves or other people.

If we as a society do not take the effort to de-stigmatize music hallucinations and mental illness, people suffering from music hallucinations may never receive the treatment they deserve. The treatment doctors that have found to reduce or even eliminate the hallucinations are very simple. In Ella's case a hearing aid was able to reduce the music hallucinations she was hearing. "It's been such a relief for the music to simply disappear with this hearing device. Sleeping has been so much easier. As much as I love my Beatles, its nice not to hear them for once serenading me to sleep," Ella claims. In response to her mother's treatment Ben says, "I never thought the treatment would be so simple. I just wished I would have known about her mental illness sooner, but I guess it's better late than never." Other treatments include various medications. According to a study by Stefan Evers MD/PhD, the most successful medication to stop music hallucinations is called carbamazepine but whether its the best medication is questionable since this study consisted of only 46 case studies of patients suffering from the Musical Ear Syndrome.

We have heard about music hallucinations since the late 18th century. Historically, famous people have be known for suffering music hallucinations like Robert Schumann the German composer from the 19th century who composed the music he hallucinated. It has only been in the last decade that researchers have seriously studied music hallucinations. Researchers have been struggling to learn more about this non-psychiatric illness though because of the social stigma that surrounds music hallucinations and mental illness. As a society, we can help out by de-stigmatizing the stigma and create official awareness organizations about this mental illness. The more we can de-stigmatized music hallucinations, more people affected by the Musical Ear Syndrome can open up and seek treatment. Hopefully, in the future researchers can find a better medication that will consistently and successfully cure the endless music marathon in the mind that people like Ella have suffered day in and day out.

Numbers are constant.. Until they're not

‎"During cataclysmic global events, our collective consciousness synchronizes. So do the numeric sequences created by random number generators. Science can't explain the phenomenon, but religion does. It’s called prayer. A collective request, sent up in unison. A shared hope, fear relieved, a life spared. Numbers are constant … until they’re not. In times of tragedy … times of collective joy, in these brief moments, it is only this shared emotional experience that makes the world seem less random.

Maybe it’s coincidence. And maybe it’s the answer to our prayers."

~Jake Bohm from Touch

I don't know why but this quote is just perfect.

It's Crunch Time

"We have to do the best we can. This is our sacred human responsibility." - Albert Einstein

I saw this sheet of paper on a door the other day. I just wanted to tear it all off. I really had a rough start at the beginning of the semester. The person right now writing this if completely different from the person who moved into Chapel Hill at the beginning of the year. Right now, I feel more confident and my grades are improving which is GREAT. I was so worried whether I could settle into this little college town because outside of this place is a whole different story. I have to be careful though because sometimes my old self will come back. The old me where I felt like I was a turtle hiding in a shell but I have to remind myself that hiding in a shell won't lead me anywhere.

My English class is okay, despite the fact I have a very chill but tough grading professor. Hist 51 is very interesting. It's about Latin American Rebellions and Revolutions. It's shown me a new perspective in a part of the world that I didn't even know about and made me reconsider the political decisions of the United States. It's a discussion based class with 3 midterm papers. So sometimes the discussion part is tough for me. It takes me a while to analyze plus I'm not planning to become a history major in any sort of fashion. I'm trying to speak up more though. My Chemistry class has been a roller coaster. I basically bombed the first midterm, so I changed everything I was doing. I dropped my music theory class because I felt so uncomfortable in the class to the point where the people in the class annoyed me so much that I just threw my hands (mentally) in the air saying it wasn't for me. I was doing fine in the class but I had this gut instinct that it just wasn't for me. I was kind of depressed though dropping it because I had this plan to major in music and apply to medical school but it just wasn't meant to be. I knew I had taken the right path when I actually didn't fail my Chem midterm test and was higher than the class average. It's interesting how excited I am when I realize that I scored above class average.  I've also been taking an exercise class Ultimate Frisbee which has been fun but I'm about over it now and Symphonic Band which has been great but I don't think I'll take it again next semester. A one credit class that takes up 2 hours of my day seems to be too much.

I have one more midterm before Thanksgiving and I can't wait for that! (Even though I'll just be doing more work.) Despite my struggles I can definitely say I'm proud to be a Tarheel Born, Tarheel Bred. Oh and GO TO HELL DUKE!